..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
