Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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