people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
