That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
