ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
