i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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