No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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