if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We left the knife in your bed.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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