please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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