You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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