i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
how drunk are you?
Several
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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