All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
