I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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