Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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