Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
