just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
