Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
