I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
