College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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