dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the liver wants what the liver wants
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
