I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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