Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
