a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
4 words: hood of his car
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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