; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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