You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am one with the molecules
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize