Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
