I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
