maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
