Tell her she can't have a vagina
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
