so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
