trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
