fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
