i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
