Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
