My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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