apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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