Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
