I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
