oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
