It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
