sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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