check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
