im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
