Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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