My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
