so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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