Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
