Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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