I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
