just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
