i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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