I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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