How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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