Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
