This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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