dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
