Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
