Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
