but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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