I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
