he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
