end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Screwed.edu
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
